I feel like I’m turning conservative. I feel like I’m malleable. Anyone can tell me something, and I’ll believe them. If they speak: fluently, intelligent, and with confidence, I’ll listen fully and take what they have to say. I am easily manipulated, because I don’t know what to believe. This world is full of confusion, and alone; I cannot find something to fully believe. My friends are as close as I come to trusting someone. My parents are included. I can see them. I can look into their eyes and see their lies or their truth. If I know someone, I am positive I can see their true intentions. I can’t look into my president’s eyes. I can’t look into my congress. Into my country’s churches, businesses, or government. I don’t know what their intentions are. Who can a kid believe, but himself and his instincts? I look around myself and judge my surroundings. I don’t judge to offend or to strike someone down with harsh words. I judge to find truth. I want to know if the person I’m next to or walking by is true to themselves, their friends, and their country. How do I judge that? I cannot. How can I go against society and reform my nation or world, if my counter culture is blindly following society? If my counter culture is following society by believing they are against it, and by going with society is the new counter current, where do I move? How do I tell my generation they are moving in the wrong direction? My generation believes that wearing home made clothes and eating organic local food and riding fixed gear bikes made at a local non-profit organization is against the main stream, but really they are conforming to a current of mainstream society. How is our country going to rise out of our economical, political, and socio depression if we are all banding against it? We are a generation of pseudo-indie shit heads, who look at our selves in the mirror and say, “I am an independent thinker,” but do not look at the kid who is sitting next to him and says he is too, although he is wearing the same clothes, rides the same bike, and shops at local businesses. We are afraid of being mainstream, but at the same time we are blindly conforming. I believe I’m an independent thinker. I read the news. I real classic literature, and listen to independent music. I am a hypocrite just like anyone else in my blind countercurrent. I say, “fuck you,” to anyone who has the same books sitting on his shelf, has the same music on his library, and wears the same band shirt I have on. I believe I am better than anyone else, because I think differently. Why can’t we all come together, with our brilliant views about psychology, sociology, politics, and art? We could become one of the strongest revolutions our world has ever seen, at least since the European Renaissance. Call it the American Renaissance, if we are so uncreative, we could be extra creative and call it la Renaissance Américaine, if we want a romantic twist. In my opinion, independent thinkers of our generation are a melting pot of knowledge, of philosophies, of reform. We are the youth who read, who think, who want to be part of something bigger than what our society is giving us. We see through the cracks, and read between the lines (and use ridiculous clichés to explain our thoughts). I want to be able to explain to our country what is going on around us. What hedge funds are. What the health care reform really is trying to do. What our government is hiding from us. Why our president won’t go up to President Ahmadinejad and tell him that we will not accept what he is doing to his people, that he is creating a genocide in his country. If our government is too afraid to do the right thing, someone who can has to. We have to. I want to. But this problem goes beyond politics, beyond society, it has to do with the way we conduct ourselves individually. We cannot be afraid to conform to something, because if we don’t conform to something we believe, we will conform into the Underground Man. Where we are too afraid to show our true selves. Conformity is not bad, conformity is important as long as we conform to something we think is right. We need to conform to change ourselves, change our government, and change our world, if it is possible. Our country was created; by independent people who banded together, and we change together. We have done stupid things. We have had stupid leaders. And we have stupid people living inside our borders. But we have smart people too, smart people who are too afraid to show themselves, and yell what they want. I don’t want the world to fall apart. I don’t want a third world war, or a second American Civil War. I just want to see everyone educate themselves and think freely, because that is where good ideas come from. I’m not a radical. I’m not a revolutionary. I’m not a patriot. I’m just me.
here we go...
...mike b
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Another Boring Story
Whenever I begin to daydream about how awesome I am that I thought of something original, I read the same thing in a book or hear it in a song. It makes me wonder how we think, and how everyone is on the same track, and believe everyone may have identical brains, but the way they perceive information and react to what is said changes the way one sees the world.
The past week I have been daydreaming about writing an extraordinary piece, where I tell a story through song. An entire novel, played through music and sung. The speed and tempo will match how the listener should feel while listening to the story. (This is the part that I feel is different.) but the story was going to tell the story about how a teenager growing up in a safe place, surrounded by hatred and confusion, and based off of what he is living through: world, economy, religion, relationships. It was going to be autobiography of sorts. America, Missoula, me: World, center of world, main character. Like a country western story based in Middles ages but exposed in modern politics and world issues.
I have wanted to read a book by Kurt Vonnegut, called Slaughterhouse 5, because apparently it’s a classic and need to read it. I went to Barnes and Noble to pick it up. There I saw another book by Vonnegut, Slapstick, which is the name of one of my favorite bands. I pick it up by impulse. I drive home and sit down to start it, and read the prologue. I never read the prologue. It begins, “This is the closest I have ever come to writing an autobiography.” It’s funny how such a coincidence can come at a crucial time. They seem to happen when I am the most scatter brained. I take them to heart. I freaked out (which I have done a lot lately) it has been a crazy summer already. Days seem to flow along a certain path and I forget I am even living. I simply live, forget about people, realize that I’m ignoring people or being rude. Brain dead. And in this dead brain, I think. I’ve read a lot and listened to a lot of music. I want to write, but never accomplish anything. Friends are secondary and only come when I want them around. Dreams are more fun. Letting my mind run free and see where it takes me, and forget what I was thinking about. It makes the day go quicker, that’s for sure.
I feel like whenever I finally realize something, everybody realizes it too. This brings me back to the idea where peoples’ brains are identical. We’re on a race to see who can think of stuff the fastest. At least that is the way I’ve been living. I want to start a country punk band. The next day I hear a band who plays the same kind of music I want to play. Bummer. I want to ride a single speed bike, hey look, there’s my bike. These are just a few stupid examples that are stuck in my mind. Brains are crazy machines.
bye,
...mike b
The past week I have been daydreaming about writing an extraordinary piece, where I tell a story through song. An entire novel, played through music and sung. The speed and tempo will match how the listener should feel while listening to the story. (This is the part that I feel is different.) but the story was going to tell the story about how a teenager growing up in a safe place, surrounded by hatred and confusion, and based off of what he is living through: world, economy, religion, relationships. It was going to be autobiography of sorts. America, Missoula, me: World, center of world, main character. Like a country western story based in Middles ages but exposed in modern politics and world issues.
I have wanted to read a book by Kurt Vonnegut, called Slaughterhouse 5, because apparently it’s a classic and need to read it. I went to Barnes and Noble to pick it up. There I saw another book by Vonnegut, Slapstick, which is the name of one of my favorite bands. I pick it up by impulse. I drive home and sit down to start it, and read the prologue. I never read the prologue. It begins, “This is the closest I have ever come to writing an autobiography.” It’s funny how such a coincidence can come at a crucial time. They seem to happen when I am the most scatter brained. I take them to heart. I freaked out (which I have done a lot lately) it has been a crazy summer already. Days seem to flow along a certain path and I forget I am even living. I simply live, forget about people, realize that I’m ignoring people or being rude. Brain dead. And in this dead brain, I think. I’ve read a lot and listened to a lot of music. I want to write, but never accomplish anything. Friends are secondary and only come when I want them around. Dreams are more fun. Letting my mind run free and see where it takes me, and forget what I was thinking about. It makes the day go quicker, that’s for sure.
I feel like whenever I finally realize something, everybody realizes it too. This brings me back to the idea where peoples’ brains are identical. We’re on a race to see who can think of stuff the fastest. At least that is the way I’ve been living. I want to start a country punk band. The next day I hear a band who plays the same kind of music I want to play. Bummer. I want to ride a single speed bike, hey look, there’s my bike. These are just a few stupid examples that are stuck in my mind. Brains are crazy machines.
bye,
...mike b
Monday, August 11, 2008
Devil's Taking Names
So today I got a call from my old manager while I was working, and he asked me if I'd like to interview for a job working at a hockey shop in the mall. Of course I said yes because he's the coolest boss anyone could ever have or want, and my current boss is the biggest douche on the planet. After finishing my 8 hour shift and waking up at 7 in the morning, I made my way down through shitty Reserve Street traffic, and into my least favorite place on the planet...the Southgate Mall...I talk with him for 5 minutes, which i guess it's called an interview but it didn't seem like one. He tells me he'll pay me $1 dollar an hour more than my other job, which raises my total to a whopping $7.50 an hour, yippee! He also told me that he will schedule around me, so I can work when I want. After the little chat session he asks if i could start today. I said yes, out of not knowing what the hell to say. He then left me with a price sheet and a computer, and I'm now sitting in the middle of the mall surrounded by the idiots of the world.
The only thing that's saving me from not shooting myself is this computer, with a wireless card that has fallen out at least five times, and the lack of a handy pistol. My narrow mind is on constant judging mode right now that I can hardly type. For example a 12 year old middle school girl just walked by in a mini skirt that a porn star wouldn't wear and went into Wet Seal the trashiest store in the mall, where they teach girls as young as ten how to throw up and eat less so they can fit in a pair of size -2 skinny jeans. I've seen so many fake girls that even a football team wouldn't even know what to do. There's scenesters, Guido's, gamers, child molesters pushing janitor carts, iron maiden shirts, chains, ass cracks, and middle aged women carrying $5 footlongs from Subway hoping to be like Jared but forgetting that a 44 ounce Pepsi and Mayo might outweigh their good deed from eating at Subway. "Eat fresh!" I'm in such a great mood that my friend said "you're the biggest ass hole ever, and I have no desire to talk to you about your shallow judgemental personality." Hmm not a bad quote huh?
I've gotten so caught up in my shallow judgementalness (probably not a word) that I forgot to give a setting to this boring story. Well since you're so interested, I'm situated in a wooden kiosk with nothing to sell except my vast knowledge about the Missoula Maulers, my favorite hockey team (by favorite i mean i hate them, by hate, i mean i wanna kill them all). This kiosk is in the middle of the walkway so everyone can see my bright and shinning face. I have this wafting smell of Asian food coming from Noodle Express that's making me nauseous. In front of me, like I already mentioned is Wet Seal where gorgeous 12 and 13 year olds are flooding into for back to school shopping. Oh and I forgot there's a pet land where I get an occasional animal sounds coming my way. The music is brilliant as well, it's a blend of 90's mellow rock and Michael Jackson, you just can't "Beat It." What perfect timing because that song is playing as I write.
I now have to pee and I'm starving my ass off, but I can't leave this place because we live in a world of cheap bastards who need to steal shit. I could stroll over to Noodle Express but another hour of smelling that place might make me vomit. Two people just walked by pushing baby strollers, who i recognized as former high school kids who graduated from my school, they had disgusting saggy skin so I knew that the babies were theirs..what a beautiful world we live in..
My dad just showed up with a subway sandwich in his hand, it's like an angel came down to wipe the tear from my eye. I'm so happy that not even an 8 year old girl wearing make up even bothered me. You, as my rare reader, will now be able to leave with some words of wisdom since I've gained a new perspective on life. Thank you Jared. I will bring back my friend who also stated, along with my quote from paragraph 2, that the world doesn't revolve around me, and she is totally wrong. The world revolves around all of us if you think about it, every circle of friends, and every year revolves around you. Everyone has a birthday, well at least I think so. Keep expanding this idea you'll realize that the world does revolve around you. Why else would flight attendants tell you to put on your oxygen mask before assisting others? enough said. Here's to being judgemental.
toodles,
...mikeb
The only thing that's saving me from not shooting myself is this computer, with a wireless card that has fallen out at least five times, and the lack of a handy pistol. My narrow mind is on constant judging mode right now that I can hardly type. For example a 12 year old middle school girl just walked by in a mini skirt that a porn star wouldn't wear and went into Wet Seal the trashiest store in the mall, where they teach girls as young as ten how to throw up and eat less so they can fit in a pair of size -2 skinny jeans. I've seen so many fake girls that even a football team wouldn't even know what to do. There's scenesters, Guido's, gamers, child molesters pushing janitor carts, iron maiden shirts, chains, ass cracks, and middle aged women carrying $5 footlongs from Subway hoping to be like Jared but forgetting that a 44 ounce Pepsi and Mayo might outweigh their good deed from eating at Subway. "Eat fresh!" I'm in such a great mood that my friend said "you're the biggest ass hole ever, and I have no desire to talk to you about your shallow judgemental personality." Hmm not a bad quote huh?
I've gotten so caught up in my shallow judgementalness (probably not a word) that I forgot to give a setting to this boring story. Well since you're so interested, I'm situated in a wooden kiosk with nothing to sell except my vast knowledge about the Missoula Maulers, my favorite hockey team (by favorite i mean i hate them, by hate, i mean i wanna kill them all). This kiosk is in the middle of the walkway so everyone can see my bright and shinning face. I have this wafting smell of Asian food coming from Noodle Express that's making me nauseous. In front of me, like I already mentioned is Wet Seal where gorgeous 12 and 13 year olds are flooding into for back to school shopping. Oh and I forgot there's a pet land where I get an occasional animal sounds coming my way. The music is brilliant as well, it's a blend of 90's mellow rock and Michael Jackson, you just can't "Beat It." What perfect timing because that song is playing as I write.
I now have to pee and I'm starving my ass off, but I can't leave this place because we live in a world of cheap bastards who need to steal shit. I could stroll over to Noodle Express but another hour of smelling that place might make me vomit. Two people just walked by pushing baby strollers, who i recognized as former high school kids who graduated from my school, they had disgusting saggy skin so I knew that the babies were theirs..what a beautiful world we live in..
My dad just showed up with a subway sandwich in his hand, it's like an angel came down to wipe the tear from my eye. I'm so happy that not even an 8 year old girl wearing make up even bothered me. You, as my rare reader, will now be able to leave with some words of wisdom since I've gained a new perspective on life. Thank you Jared. I will bring back my friend who also stated, along with my quote from paragraph 2, that the world doesn't revolve around me, and she is totally wrong. The world revolves around all of us if you think about it, every circle of friends, and every year revolves around you. Everyone has a birthday, well at least I think so. Keep expanding this idea you'll realize that the world does revolve around you. Why else would flight attendants tell you to put on your oxygen mask before assisting others? enough said. Here's to being judgemental.
toodles,
...mikeb
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Navigating the Windward Passage
Over the past week or so I’ve been trying way too hard to find what I want to write my first blog about, and after the excitement of last night I believe I finally figured it out. I just worked my 6th day of 7 and got the love of my life stolen (this would be my ipod), there was still one thing above all that pissed me off even more, and this was getting called narrow minded. Yeah I got my $300 ipod stolen by some shit head kids wondering through my neighborhood while I was getting smashed, and all I care about is a drunken ass comment from my good friend. Where are my priorities nowadays? I’ll give you a little lesson in vocabulary before I begin, narrow-minded means; Lacking tolerance, breadth of view, or sympathy. This came about because I was giving him shit about his bad music taste. I’ll give you a few examples, Cannibal Corpse, Death Clock, Coldplay, Stiletto Formal, Bullet for my Valentine, and Coheed and Cambria…I know no one will read this boring blog, but still horrible music. I understand not many like my ska punk experimental music, but at least there’s emotion for what they do. Anyhoo, he was going through his ipod and after every song I told him it was bad and I hate his music. This led to him blowing up wine sloshing in his keg cup, ranting about how “I’m narrow-minded about everything” How could I be narrow-minded? First of all I’m not racist, I have a black uncle and Hispanic cousin, and he talks about how he wants to kill them all…that’s pretty petty in my opinion. Is this “Narrow-minded?” I consider myself a liberal, and I think about others and try to help them through ruts. I’d rather ride a bike or skateboard than drive a damn car. I like intellectual conversations rather than talking about people. I’ll eat a salad before a big mac. I write poetry, take photographs, listen to independent music, read about philosophies and conspiracies, watch documentaries about evolution and intelligent design, think about life, God, Satan, and the after life, and I’d write a persuasive essay before getting my oil changed…am I narrow-minded?
If it were up to me I’d define a petty person as a racist, conservative, who follows people and doesn’t think for themselves, or doesn’t like to try new things. I may be pointing out a very large group of people but those are the individuals who I’d consider “narrow-minded.” Unless there’s another piece to this puzzle or another definition to the word. Can I really be in a different way, as in my little world of being different? I do admit I’m very judgmental, and I have a very low tolerance for certain characteristics and people in general. So this may be good, I could learn something from this stupid little blog entry. I think through my transition from the mainstream to an independent thinker I hit a point that I have blocked out every other idea apart from mine. I look upon other people as inferior, and everything that I do can be and is better than them. I still believe I am and I probably won’t stop believing that, but I will admit that I point at people way too much. I opened my mind to new sounds and places and I love where I have gotten, and now I have closed my mind to the old boring shit I now somehow hate with a passion. How did this happen? I have no idea and I probably won’t figure it out either. Now as for you shit heads, just think like I think and we’ll be chill, and if not we’ll have problems. Here’s to narrow-minds!
Toodles
If it were up to me I’d define a petty person as a racist, conservative, who follows people and doesn’t think for themselves, or doesn’t like to try new things. I may be pointing out a very large group of people but those are the individuals who I’d consider “narrow-minded.” Unless there’s another piece to this puzzle or another definition to the word. Can I really be in a different way, as in my little world of being different? I do admit I’m very judgmental, and I have a very low tolerance for certain characteristics and people in general. So this may be good, I could learn something from this stupid little blog entry. I think through my transition from the mainstream to an independent thinker I hit a point that I have blocked out every other idea apart from mine. I look upon other people as inferior, and everything that I do can be and is better than them. I still believe I am and I probably won’t stop believing that, but I will admit that I point at people way too much. I opened my mind to new sounds and places and I love where I have gotten, and now I have closed my mind to the old boring shit I now somehow hate with a passion. How did this happen? I have no idea and I probably won’t figure it out either. Now as for you shit heads, just think like I think and we’ll be chill, and if not we’ll have problems. Here’s to narrow-minds!
Toodles
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